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CRAZY IN MOLOCH

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8/14/05 10:20 pm

i'm sick of this livejournal. so i created a new one. my new username is coup_duh_tah, stolen from a shirt made by walter, an artist in alphabet city who was the single most attractive middle aged man i've ever met, who we citytermers interviewed for our alphabet city neighborhood study. i'm mildly in love with walter, but more in love with his shirt. hence the new user name.

i intend to actually write in this journal. so i'm gonna add a bunch of people, so you should add me back. my entries are gonna be friends only, cause i'm super-cool.

remember that, kids -- coup_duh_tah.

5/16/05 08:58 pm

hey livejournal, it's been a while...
life in new york is intense, man. cityterm has made me realize that i am a very dysfunctional human being. it's good to be aware of.

so, i'm a vegan now, and this time for serious. it's been about 2 months. i fucking rule.

i'm coming home on may 27 and i can't wait. i miss boston like a motherfucker. but 5 months is a long time, and i know i've changed a lot being away, and i don't know how that'll play out back home, or next year. this summer's gonna be fucking sweet. oh, and i'm seeing modest mouse on june 22. hell fucking yes.
i've got work and shit to. goddamn. i'm covered in layers of filth after picking up shit and litter etc all day along the motherfucking hudson waterfront.

3/31/05 06:18 pm

i'm sick! this is terrible! i did, however, have a supremely enjoyable day sitting in my bed reading about the bolivarian revolution, abu mazen, and how condi got her groove back, among other things.

a little after midnight last night whilst giving food, etc, to homeless people in the city, a confederate seperatist told me that i should be lynched for looking like a goddamn rastafarian, and that if i ever went to louisiana, where he's from, the kkk would "have me up in a tree." yay confederates! i'm not sure whether i that could be construed as a threat, but regardless, it was an odd experience. this same man also bragged about beating up a black girl solely for her race, and said she was lucky he didn't pull out his handgun on her. he was a pow in vietnam for two years and fought there for a total of 5. his son just died in iraq. his father fought in world world two, and his grandfather -- or great grandfather -- fought for the confederacy in the civil war. at first i was appalled by him -- in cambridge massachusetts, nobody thinks twice about dreadlocks -- but then i realized that he was a true victim of war, him and his whole family. it just breeds hate, and he is the product of a culture of fear.

i'm feeling very optimistic about the future right now. today the selective service system reported to bush that it is ready to implement a draft within 75 days, and i think that's great. seriously. i think this could be exactly what this country needs to start caring and realizing that the war DOES affect all of our lives. the draft was one of the biggest agitators of the vietnam antiwar movement, and i will be shocked if it doesn't have the same effect for today's movement. without the draft, things will probably just keep going as they are, and the media corporations will censor everything and the majority of americans won't give two shits about the war. the draft will fuck that up. because there will be no avoiding it. (www.enjoythedraft.com) iraq or military prison!! woohoo!! but who knows, i could be totally off. we'll find out soon.

livejournal is not letting me get comments. that is fucked up.

3/10/05 08:55 pm

BACK TO BOSTON TOMORROW
i'm overwhelmed&sick&my head is spinning and i feel like i haven't sat still in days. i can't sleep at night because i'm thinking, i never stop thinking here...i miss boston a boatload but i'm sad to leave new york...it's been a bi-fucking-polar experience, like a dream or an acid trip, or both, and there's so much i don't know what to make of, don't know what to do with, don't know how to react to...and that's a good thing. exactly what i needed. i can't think straight, and it's beautiful and exactly the reason i came here in the first place. there is so much to say and think about and do, i feel like i'm going to explode and i can't contain it all. i'm being incoherent...i need to go lie down. it'll be a fun spring break: cinderella, sleep, protests, hayley, reading...so much to read...and i'm not bringing my computer, so i won't be on AIM...if you care to reach me my number is 914-420(as in marijuana)-6212. i can't wait to come home. i might drop by bbn sometime to finish my self portrait. i need to keep self implicating about russians now.
love you all
meggie

2/11/05 10:55 am - one of the things i carry


i miss us more.

2/7/05 10:59 am - a real cityterm update.



so basically the gist of cityterm is learning through experiences and not in a classroom. we don't have classes. we learn all the time. we don't have teachers, because at cityterm we believe that teaching interferes with learning. all our learning is interrelated. the dude who started the program, david dunbar, walked into a room yesterday and said "you know what i just realized? i think that when you really understand something you read, it's like the universe is speaking directly to you. pretty fucked up, huh?" the other teachers are crazy liberal and awesome too. it's the most unique and "out of the box" program i've ever experienced. it puts bbn and conventional schooling to shame. i don't know why more places aren't like this. at bbn, you're taught to memorize shit and spit out a shitty formulated 5 paragraph essay that has been written hundreds of times before with some slight variations. here, in our papers, our only instructions are to write something shocking. i'm not kidding. "write something that will surprise yourself." that's an assignment. i am also doing a portrait project on The Cockmen, i.e. the Sockmen, three street pharmaceutical workers, aka drug dealers, from sait mark's place. we went to a broadway show called slava snowshow that was roughly about homless russian clowns -- it was very absurdist/surrealist, no talking, crazy trippy scenes and music, and in the second act a clown came down and started essentially raping me (but in a fun way) and then pulled me up onstage and made me chase him around, and vice versa, for the first 10 minutes of the first act. that's right, bitches, i was in a real broadway show. i rule! seeing another show next weekend...i wonder if there will be any violation by clowns involved here. last night i tye dyed every light colored piece of clothing i own. i have over a hundred hours of new music on my computer. american history x is among my new favorite movies. i have 5 new dreadlocks. i had a two hour conversation with steve, a 22 year old professional bass player, slash cityterm faculty, slash hot piece of ass, slash superhero, about the nature of e and pi and i came to realize that zero does not in fact exist, and numbers are meaningless. my mind is expanding faster than i ever thought it could. and i'm loving every second of it. i feel like i know these people so well. there are only 30 of us, and we're like a family. i feel so completely comfortable and at home here.

so, basically, i am one happy camper.

2/4/05 10:59 am - cityterm continues to kick ass.



i desperately need to reinstate organization into my life.

this has gotten pretty far out of control.

1/30/05 11:22 pm - entry 2 from NYC





loving every single second here

1/26/05 09:23 pm

leaving for new york tomorrow...shitty timing. whoever decided that you can only really appreciate things (and people) when they're gone is a piece of shit. because it's true. at the hospital today i saw a kid with a shaved head and a mask type thing covering her mouth, presumably because she had a disease that would be really bad if she got some bacteria or some shit (i clearly am awesome at science and medecine), and she was with her mom or some lady she was close to, and they just looked so genuinely happy and grateful to have each other, it set me off. i haven't cried like that in a long time. not because i was sad about her disease, which of course sucks, but what can ya do...but because from what i could tell at least they really, really loved each other and were so happy to have each other, and the disease became almost irrelevant. and that pure affection isn't something you see everyday.

i've had a headache all fucking day. and even though i'm extremely grateful to be going to new york, and i'm not having second thoughts at all, i'm gonna be completely lost without my other half. and i already am. and this entry is making me cry, and i'm just way too emotional in general. which isn't always a bad thing. but it is now.

good night. see you all in 5 months.

1/20/05 08:08 pm - black thursday

woohoo!!! 4 more years of lies, war for oil, and tax cuts for corporations!!! yeah!!!

civil liberties are overrated, anyway.

on an unrelated note, i leave in one week for new york and will be gone till the end of may, although i'll probably be back for at least a few days in march. i've been ready to leave high school since about the third week of freshman year. but i'm gonna miss lots of people from boston, and especially my cat. sniff. i don't know how i'm gonna survive without her. and my best friend, who i love more than anything and who i'm very worried about, even though i know everything will work out. i feel sort of guilty for leaving when so much shit is hitting the fan, so to speak...but it's way too late and i'd go completely crazy if i stayed here any longer. i just want a fresh start. TABULA RASA!!!! OHHHHHHH!!!!

aaaand i've quit weed and haven't smoked in 3 weeks. and i won't be smoking at all in new york.
woo fucking hoo, bitches!

kbi.

ps. i really need to listen to something besides modest mouse. but it's just so hard...
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